We Decided to Choose the Kind of Mother/Daughter Relationship We Wanted

Here’s what we realized one day:
We get one shot at this Mother/Daughter thing —
so we decided to make ours fun.

Not perfect.
Not Instagram-aesthetic every minute.
Just… fun. Honest. Real.
The kind of relationship where you can be fully yourself and still know you’re loved.

And just to be clear:
This isn’t about what Moms and Daughters should do.
Every relationship is different.
This is simply the one we chose — and it works for us.

Growing Up, Things Were Just … Different.

Back when I was growing up, Mother/Daughter relationships didn’t look like this.
It was more “my way or no way.”
Less talking, more assuming.
More rules, less room to feel things out loud.

Our Moms weren’t wrong — they were doing the best they could with the tools, expectations, and culture they had.
Feelings weren’t something you talked about.
Communication wasn’t soft.
And questioning anything usually didn’t go well.

But as I got older, I knew one thing for sure:
When I had Daughters, I wanted something just a little different.
More openness.
More connection.
More room to breathe, feel, grow, and be human.

And that’s exactly what we built — in our own imperfect, beautiful way.

1. We chose to laugh more than we argue.

Listen… we have our moments.
But we also turn 80% of our disagreements into comedy about 10 minutes later.
(We’re both dramatic, it’s fine. Just ask Lauren’s Husband — he’s got front-row seats.)

2. We chose to talk — even when it’s awkward.

Not deep therapy talks all the time.
Sometimes it’s literally:
“Are you mad or just hungry?”
We keep it real and keep it moving.

And trust me… this didn’t happen overnight.
I’m bold, strong, and say exactly what’s on my mind.
Lauren? She’s the sweet, reserved one who cries over everything — commercials, puppies, the wrong Starbucks order… absolutely all of it.

We had to learn each other.
We had to grow into this rhythm.
But we did it — and we’re still doing it.

3.We chose the little things — every day.

A text.
A FaceTime.
A “did you eat?”
A meme that says what we’re all thinking but don’t say out loud.
It’s wild how those tiny moments keep us connected.

And honestly? We check in every single morning.
Every night.
…and about a million times in the middle of the day, too.

I’ve fully accepted my role as Virtual Nanny —
Yes, I read books on FaceTime.
Yes, we grab blankets, snacks, drinks, and settle in like it’s storytime LIVE.
And yes… sometimes I even mail snacks and books so we can “unbox” them together on FaceTime.
It’s our thing, and I love it. 🧡

4. We chose growth over perfection.

She’s not little anymore.
I’m not the same Mom I was years ago.
So we give each other permission to evolve —
and we cheer for it.

And one thing we decided early on?
We don’t hold the past against each other.
We’re not keeping score or dragging old mistakes into new seasons.

A lot of Moms back then did things differently — more judgment, more “my way or no way.”
But we’ve learned that we’re all human.
People change.
Times change.
And honestly? The world is different now.

She has her own views, her own way of doing things, her own generation, her own culture, and about 4,000 more resources than I ever had.

Just because this generation does things differently…
doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
It’s just theirs.
And I respect that, celebrate it, and support her through it — not fight it.

5. And here’s the part most people don’t know…

We weren’t always like this.

We were a Mom and Daughter who drifted apart for a season.
Life happened.
Feelings got big.
Distance got real.

But we weathered the storm — both of us.
We did the work, had the conversations, let go of pride, softened where we needed to, and made room for each other again.

And we chose to come back stronger…
closer…
better than ever.

We’re not a “perfect duo.”
We’re a chosen duo.
Two Women who decided that the bond mattered more than the distance.
That the relationship was worth rebuilding.
And that love would always win if we let it.

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6. We chose US.

Not the picture-perfect version.
Not the pressure-filled version.
Just the real version —
safe, close, fun, honest, and ours.

Because the truth?
Some Mother/Daughter relationships come easy…
others are rebuilt brick by brick.

Ours just happens to be the second —
and it’s the most beautiful thing we’ve ever created together.

At the end of the day, this Mother/Daughter thing isn’t about perfection.
It’s not about doing it the “right” way or the “old” way or the “modern” way.
It’s about finding your way — together.

With Love,